The Importance of Alone Time

Sis, when is the last time you were alone? And I mean really alone to do whatever made you feel good. Until this weekend, it had been months for me! Although it was unplanned, it was right on time.

“Spending time alone in your own company reinforces your self-worth and is often the number-one way to replenish your resilience reserves.”

Sam Owen

Depletion

de·ple·tion/dəˈplēSH(ə)n

  1. reduction in the number or quantity of something.

Have you ever ran out of money to pay bills or felt completely exhausted at the end of a workout? That’s what depletion is like, you’re simply running out. When you’re a go getter, depletion can come often. Most days you’re running 150 mph with little to no breaks. Often times, you may even forget to eat. I hear you, I see you, I am YOU!

That’s why this weekend was so amazing for me! Saturday morning I was not feeling great at all. It’s usually the first sign that I’ve worked myself into the ground and need to rest. Between that and this unstable weather, Saturday was not looking too grand. My son’s first tournament game in basketball was in an hour and of course I had to be in attendance. Sometimes even the smallest act of obedience will yield a great reward.

I’m so glad that I showed up! As usual, My Mother in Love was there and she has been dedicating time to spend with the kids on the weekends lately which has been great because I’m ALWAYS working. We didn’t plan for her to take them ahead of time so you can imagine my excitement when she offered to take them with her after the game! It took everything for me not to dance right in the middle of the basketball court lol.

Listen, your girl loves her kids BUT your girl also needed a B-R-E-A-K!.

So what did I do? First I cleaned my house. It felt so good to be in silence and clean. As I was cleaning the house, I also began to feel lighter as far as the clutter in my mind. One less task! Whoo hoo!

Then I left the house and went to the Container Store because if you’re a planner girl with a productivity and organization obsession, CS is your spot! I purchased some bathroom vanity pieces, a jewelry organizer (because my Kendra Scott obsession is REAL) and a shoe rack. I made a conscious effort to purchase FOR ME! So often I’m swiping left and right for my spouse and kids, that I have to be reminded by my friends to do something for myself.

I left Container Store and swung by Pier1, what a treat! They’re closing several stores and I was able to snag their big 3 wick candles for $5 each! They smell so yummy! Sis, get to Pier1. The end.

Finally, I ended up at Sephora. We’re not even going to have that conversation becaaauuusse, make up 🤷🏾‍♀️. My final destination was to see the new movie, The Photograph, by Issa Rae. It was soooo good! I ate nachos and cried at the end. It was the perfect ending to my day.

“Solitude is where I place my chaos to rest and awaken my inner peace” ~ Nikki Rowe

Let me ask you, when is the last time you were alone and able to do whatever brought you peace? When’s the last time, you threw your phone in your purse and enjoyed the moment? The last time you stopped and smiled at strangers, took a deep breathe, didn’t constantly check the time on your watch or phone to make sure you weren’t late to someone’s event? I’m 99% sure those questions may have just made a light bulb go off in your head saying, “OMG! I need to be alone!” Don’t be afraid to say to yourself, “I need space.” There’s beauty in realizing that you need restoration and your resources are depleted. You can not and will not stay the course, if your resources are dried up! When looking at your plans this week, create some time for yourself that is solely for you to recharge and do what makes you happy. Don’t worry about anyone else’s agenda, they’ll be there when you return.

Until Next Time,

XOXO

It’s Time to Start, No Excuses

Hey Gem! I’m Going to Talk to You Today About the Art of Starting.

Are you stuck in between a rock and a hard place? Do you have the desire to do something but you been sitting on your hands scared of the outcome? Today I am talking to you! You, my dear gem, have to get off your behind and get to work. Someone out there needs your vision to fulfill their destiny.

In 2017, I was LOST.

I had recently given birth to my daughter and was on a maternity leave from a job that I was growing to resent on a daily basis due to the structural changes that were taking place. I was stuck with the decision of going back to work and being miserable or finding a different and hopefully better route. 3 years later, I’m sitting at my computer, it’s 7:05 in the morning on a Sunday and I am SO HAPPY to be in a position to write this blog post to you.

Starting is scary, hard and difficult but the end result is so incredibly worth it. At this stage in the game with the current climate of the world as a whole, you need to do what you love. So why aren’t you starting? Well, if you’re anything like me three years ago, the main reason is because you are scared and you don’t want to lose your security blanket. Your job, your spouse, your friends, family etc is in essence your security net. You’ve worked hard to build and maintain these relationships and you’re afraid that if you do what you’re passionate about those things or people will not support you. You’re afraid of being left behind. The irony here is that by pursuing your God-given purpose, you can only be pushed ahead never behind.

I remember sitting at home worrying about how to help provide for my family and not miss a beat. The moment I made the exact decision to be obedient to the calling that was on my life, we’ve never missed a meal, never felt like we were going to lose a home or a car and never felt like we were suffering. God provides. That day was May 12, 2017.

I made this post yesterday that I’m going to share with you here.

This is Your Friendly Saturday Reminder that 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐈𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬. ⁣

You Are Equipped with Every Tool Needed to Fulfill Your God-Given Purpose. ⁣

God Will Place Mentors, Educators, Investors and Every Single Thing Needed to Elevate You to the Next Level. ⁣

•Choose Obedience. ⁣
•Choose to do the Necessary Work Over Sleep. ⁣
•Focus On the End Game Result Instead of Instant Gratification. ⁣
•When You “Make It” Keep Working Like You Never Had It. ⁣
•Stay Hungry. Stay Grateful. Stay Passionate. ⁣
•You Are Your Biggest Cheerleader & Your Biggest Critic. ⁣
•Be Mindful & Consciously Aware that Every Decision is A Choice that Will Propel You or Keep You Stagnant. ⁣
•Get Around Winners! Latch On To Them & Gain Wisdom. ⁣

…And When All Else Fails, Celebrate the Fact that You Had Enough Courage to Try. ⁣

The purpose of the post was to encourage you to try. Often times, we become so focused on everything being perfect and everyone applauding our efforts that we forget to at minimum, try. Who says you don’t have the ability to write out a business plan or just write down the goal? Who says you’re incapable of selling yourself and creating the life you envisioned for yourself? Who says that one person can have a grand life and you can’t?

NO ONE.

You are your own worst enemy. Remove the idea that someone has to approve your dream in order for you to pursue it. When I started G&C, I didn’t care who approved my efforts, I cared about feeding my children and waking up to do something I loved every single day. That’s what mattered most to me.

I surrendered to God’s purpose for my life. I was called to lead, to inspire and to be an example of what it looks like when you walk in total obedience. Many may ask, what does obedience look like?

Obedience starts with discipline. If you tend to lean on the side of rebellion, I encourage you to develop a routine. If you’re working in Corporate America, wake up an hour earlier than you normally do everyday and dedicate that one hour to your dreams. Commit to yourself that you will not create excuses nor complain. Tell yourself, neither is an option while you’re building the life you desire. Understand that it will be hard! I want you to find a mentor once you’re all in, wait until then because you don’t want to waste their time and miss your opportunity. Every time you consider taking an extended nap, decide to commit that time to your goals. What I’m saying to you may seem simplistic while reading but takes a lot more effort and discipline than you think. Here’s the thing, you can do it. You can do any and everything that you set your mind to do. No one is holding you back but you. In 2020, excuses are unacceptable. You’re either doing the work or moving out of the way. Make a choice today. Stop waiting, time definitely isn’t.

Until Next Time,

XOXO

My Top 10 Recommended Reads for 2020

Reading is Fundamental.

Happy 2020!!! Do you have >read more< on your 2020 goals list like me? Yay, we have something in common!

Today I want to share my 2020 MUST READ list. Some books are repetitive because they keep me motivated and focused for the new year and others I’ve started on and plan to finish this year. Although I am a college drop out, reading has always been an essential part of my life. Now that I use Audible, I can run through 20 books or more per year with ease. If you’ve been hesitant on trying Audible, use my promo code and try it for yourself here. https://amzn.to/36ahoZ4

So let’s dive into the books. I did my best to narrow my list down to 10 and give you a good range of books to read from Self Help to Inspiration to Business and Money. If you want to check out my full lists of books, you can find all of them in my Amazon Store.

My Top 10 Books to Read in 2020

  1. The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You by Lydia Fenet
  2. Dear Girls by Ali Wong
  3. You Are A Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero
  4. Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes
  5. The Wealth Cure by Hill Harper
  6. More than Enough by Elaine Welteroth
  7. Becoming by Michelle Obama
  8. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
  9. Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss
  10. 100 Days to Brave by Annie F Downs
I Challenge You to Read at Least 3 off of This List and Come Back and Comment Your Thoughts! Until Next Time Gem! XOXO.

How Saying NO Adds Value…

So Listen….well first Hey Gem Hey!!! Ok back to the subject at hand, recently I have had to learn the power that the word No has and figure out why in the heck have I been so afraid to use it up until this point. The word No has opened me up to a whole new way of life. Lol. No seriously, life has turned around for me quickly with just two letters.

Why are we talking about the word No? Well because so many of us run away from the word for whatever reason without realizing the freedom that it holds. I recently discovered this word because I was flat out drained. I was being pulled in so many different directions that there was no time for me to rest and sit in my own thoughts. I wasn’t even for sure if I was actually producing anything because I was exhausted.

People have different reasons why they say yes all the time. For some it’s because of the money, for others it’s because they’re people pleasers and then there’s also those that have been taught that saying no takes value away from who they are to the people on the receiving end of that no. Those are the people I’m trying to talk to today.

As you all know I have been in business for almost 2 years and within this two year span for approximately 1.5 years, I never said No. I know you’re thinking well how in the heck did you survive?! Truth is, I didn’t. On the outside looking in, it appeared as if business was booming and it was and still is but in my own personal life, I was crashing. I knew that the dreams I had would take some day and night work which was fine I was prepared for that but what I wasn’t prepared for was being constantly asked to do more. Most of the time it was someone needing a little extra attention or needing to feel like they were a priority. Again, fine with that, that’s Customer Service 101. However, it’s when 2-3 become 12-15 all at once that began to way me down. I was having a hard time keeping up with all of the extras on the side and then I discovered, no.

No can come in many forms. There’s No. Then there’s Not Right Now. There’s also Maybe Later. My personal favorite, compromise. I still struggle with saying No but I am the BEST when it comes to a good ole sweet compromise. Let me preface this with saying by compromising you are not giving in. What you are doing is saying I can make this work by doing it my way and then asking the recipient to agree. Other times you’ll simply have to say, “No I can’t love ya mean it. K bye!” And Guess What? THAT’S OKAY!

Listen, no one is going to come and shoot up the place because you told them No. That has been my greatest discovery. I was so afraid to simply say my plate is too full to take on another task yet when I did, the people on the receiving end understood and said Ok. So you mean to tell me there was no screaming and shaming me because I said I was unable to take that on? Yes that’s exactly what I’m telling you. It honestly was almost as if the recipient’s gained a new level of respect for me and then we were able to create a little something I like to call boundaries.

So this is how saying No has added value to my life. When saying the word No, I was able to put some RESPEK ON MY NAME and earn more trust. People trust you when you’re honest about what you can and can not handle. Why? Because you don’t create a space of disappointment. When we take on additional things we can’t handle, we open the doors to letting people down and therefore we do lose some of the value and worth they found in us. When we’re able to be truthful, there’s only room to accept our truth and be okay with that.

I remember not even a week ago, I was in bed and couldn’t move. I was overwhelmed with the idea of saying No to continuous sales. I had recently made a decision that my business was going to become a premiere and elite e-commerce store but in order to do so, I could not continue to always offer a sale. For me, it was crippling because I like most entrepreneurs depend on someone else’s thoughts and opinions to make sure my family eats. So to stand boldly and say I couldn’t always run a sale and ask for some value to be put into the work I do was scary.

To my surprise, no one was shocked or appalled. No one yelled at me and said they’d never shop with me again. You know what they did? They said, “We’re STILL Going to Support You!” Instantly I felt like the value of my business had gone up. It was as if a lightbulb had gone off and I was back in the race.

I say all of that to say this, No is a word worth having in your back pocket at all times. You don’t have to be nasty when you use the word just take a moment to look at what all is on your plate and make a decision according to that. It’s still okay to say Yes, which is what I prefer but if you can’t, you can’t. Learn to trust your inner intuition and put some value on the work that you do. Don’t be afraid because those that trust, love and respect you will still come and they won’t question your decisions.

It took me a minute to write this as you can see it’s pretty lengthy lol. We actually did GemTalk regarding this last week and so this week and next week I think I’m going to take a break. It’s simply not workable with the schedule I have this week and guess what? I’m okay with that.

As always, thank you for taking a moment to stop by and read my open journal. I hope it encourages and inspires you to live in your truth and chase your dreams. Until next time Gem, smooches!

Planner Conference?! Yes You Should Go!

So I’m back from Chicago and you guys I’m on such a natural high! I had to come and tell you all about it and also of course convince you why you should go to one if you’ve been on the fence!

At the Famous Willis Tower (Sears Tower) Sky Deck on 2.14.2019.

Last year, I heard about this amazing Chicago Planner Conference and KNEW that I had to be there if they chose to do it again. Just my luck, they did. From beginning to end, the committee that led this conference exuded levels of excellence that is a rare find. I am literally writing this still in shock because I simply did not anticipate…excellence. Sure I knew I’d have a good time and I knew I’d meet up with my girlfriends and make new friends but it was the DETAIL that caught my attention. So to the women of Chicago Planner Conference, KUDOS TO YOU!

So how did I end up in Chicago and what all happened to make it such an amazing experience?! First, I decided that since the conference was the weekend of Valentine’s, it only made sense that me and my husband go and experience this beautiful city together. Although extremely cold, we had an amazing time. The hotel upgraded our room free of charge because we were also celebrating our 9 year anniversary, the staff was incredibly friendly and attentive and not to mention they also had strawberries and champagne sent to our room. Already I was on cloud 9 and excited for what the city had to offer. We spent the day going from the Sky Deck to Harold’s Chicken, Walking on Magnificent Mile and finishing up at the Auto Show. We opted for dinner at Uncle Julio’s since we couldn’t get a reservation into The Signature Room. Next trip, I promise 😉

Day 2, was equally as amazing as Day 1. After my hubby left, my girls flew in and you guys we had a blast! Planner Conferences aren’t only for you to come and plan because trust me you typically don’t do any planning at all. These conferences are the perfect place and opportunity for you to have a girl’s trip, to meet up with the many faces you see online and of course to get some amazing swag. Day 2 was on Friday, the conference didn’t start until 6:30 that evening which gave us enough time to explore. We went shopping, had lunch at Sugar Factory and sadly for me walked in the cold lol. I’m from the south, I didn’t know what cold was until this past weekend. Never Again, KP! Lol. When I am able to go out of town I like to try and meet up with as many customers of mine as possible. I’m able to hug them, laugh with them and truly say thank you. It means the world to me for them to come out and loan me their time. We managed to host Pizza & Planning in our room that evening and had an awesome time in fellowship!

Conference Day

The Day of the Official Conference is super exciting! There are speakers, swag, table mates, more swag, workshops, swag and did I say it? More swag. Our Keynote Speaker this year was, Amber from DamaskLove. If you didn’t already know this about me, I love me some Amber! She is what I aspire to become. She’s beautiful, witty, funny, talented and simply herself. Her message was amazing because it wasn’t boring or dull. It was in fact exactly what the doctor ordered, fill with cute stories and food for thought moments. She said some things that completely resonated with me in regards to dreaming and planning to execute said dreams. If you ever see this, Thank You Amber. You’re amazing!

Next, we had swag. Y’all the SWAG!! OMG! The SWAG. Now let me say, swag is always a plus and even though I am excited for everything I received, please do not attend a conference for swag only. Your focus should be the experience, meeting new people, networking and gems that you are able to take back home with you. Okay back to the swag, it was so overwhelmingly good we literally COULD NOT TAKE IT! Lol My heart was racing and I thought if they bring out one more amazing item I’m going to lose it. If you watched my live that Sunday then you saw the swag and YOU KNOW, there was no room for disappointments.

We also did workshops and I loved the way they broke out the workshops into rooms which gave people the opportunity to really listen in on what was being said and to share their thoughts. The workshops were GREAT! I attended the Self Care Workshop with Jessica Chung. Let me tell you, if you can get to anything, anywhere with Jessica, GO! Her energy is so contagious and she is 100% authentic, of course we hit it off.

Jessica Chung & I after her Self Care class.

As the day continued and things begin to wind down, we had a rest period from 6-8pm and came back for more laughter and more fun. There were more workshops and also KARAOKE NIGHT!! Whoop Whoop! Karaoke was led by the BEAUTIFUL Lhey of MommyLhey Designs whose talent far expands that of just a shop owner. She’s a wife, mom, girl boss, singer, artist and kick ass dancer. Work it Lhey! She’s also one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever met. Needless to say, we had a grand time! I performed Cardi B – Money and would do it all over again if I could lol.

This conference was surely one to remember. From meeting Amber of DamaskLove, sitting beside and chatting it up with Belinda Selene, meeting some amazing women that are shop owners, customers and now friends and we of course can’t forget the amazing men that were there as well; Heeeyyyy Cain! I’m so grateful to have simply been in the same space with all of these amazing human beings. If I haven’t convinced you by now why you should attend a Planner Conference and more specifically this one, well Gem, I can’t help you. However, If I have sparked your interest, make sure you mark it on your calendar. Decide to take that leap of Faith and don’t be afraid to travel alone. Once you get there it’ll feel like you’ve finally found your tribe. I look forward to meeting all of you one day sooner than later at one of these conferences and don’t forget to say Hi!

This Week On #GemTalk, we’re going to continue the conversation about Planner Conferences. We’ll discuss how much they cost, what you should look forward to, why you should go, who you’re going to see and much more. Join me there this Thursday at 7pm CST! Smooches!

January Was Rough! Time for a Shift

Hey Gem!

If Your January was Anything like Mine then Basically IT WAS ROUGH! I honestly didn’t know if I was coming or going. I felt like I wasn’t near as enthusiastic as I needed to be and that I was being attacked left and right.

A little pretext: January involved not 1 but 3 instances of other people trying to steal my designs and sell them or tell others to copy them instead of supporting me. Not only that, I was constantly receiving insight about someone who is not the biggest fan of Felicia (aka me) and moves that they were making to undercut me. It was a lot to take on while still trying to manage a little something we like to call Grace.

As strong as I appear to be, I’m still human and when you’re a human it’s hard to overlook everything. Somewhere within the month I lost myself. I found myself being constantly upset, wanting to start a war, desiring to speak out and more. I had become someone I fought so hard not to be. Now most people will say I was still graceful but for me, I stepped a couple levels below who I KNOW I am. It was rough y’all, rough! Not to mention that I was sick for literally an ENTIRE Month. Now on the outside everything looked great, my business was BOOMING, I still managed to generate 5 figures in sales, launch my I AM Collection, announce a getaway for my customers and more. However, inside there was nothing but turmoil.

The beauty of turmoil though is that hopefully you’re learning a very valuable lesson while you’re trying to pass the test. What I have learned is how to recognize when I’m allowing outside forces to control my narrative. I am realizing that with a simple shift in my focus, I can get right back to me like I never left. So what does a shift in focus look like? I can only speak for myself but a focus shift for me is when I put my attention back on Christ and what he has called me to do. When I stop worrying and allowing others to have a say so in how I operate. It’s also when I put the blinders back on and grind like never before. When you shift the focus, you quickly find that you are motivated again, you’re creative, you don’t need validation and you laser in on nothing but positivity.

Some ways to shift the focus would be to listen to a podcast, read a book, take a walk, journal, go to therapy, be intentional about your day, be intentional about the things you listen to and the conversations you engage in as well. Basically you are making a conscious effort to reduce any and all negative thoughts and anything that could potentially be a trigger for negativity.

My goal here is for you to take a page out of my book, look at the people and things you’re surrounding yourself with and make sure it’s a good environment for you to be in. Be sure that your friends are truly your friends, evaluate your work space and any other space that you occupy, express to your spouse that you’re going through a rough mental patch and need his/her help and prayer and most importantly unplug. Learn how to enjoy your own company.

We all go through ruts, that’s life but it’s how you get out of the funk and the lesson you learned while in it that matters. Once you make that choice to shift the focus, leave me a comment below with your thoughts and your success story. Make sure that you join me every Thursday on Youtube Live at 7pm CST. This week we will discuss shifting the focus further.

Debunk the Myth of Work Smart, Not Hard

Do Both.

Hello there and welcome to Treasured Gems by Mrs. Goldmine! Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my thoughts. This is the place that you can come to find some of my most treasured gems and how I try to manage life, business and my faith. 💎

“I learned the value of hard work by working hard.”

Margaret Mead

Hey GEM Hey! So I had a list of topics that I wanted to open the blog up with and we will get to them but today I wanted to address how ridiculous the idea of working smart and not hard sounds. For YEARS, I’ve heard people say Work Smart, Not Hard as I’m sure you have as well. However, the problem with this concept is I’ve never seen a self made millionaire only do one or the other, they have ALWAYS done both. When people use this particular phrase, I look at it as though it is a cop out to actually doing the work and putting forth the effort needed to succeed in life.

Now I’ve only been in business for a year and a half and what I can promise you is that it is nothing short of a combination of hard work, working smart, common sense, determination and faith. For an entire year and a half, I dedicated all of my time to my business because I knew that if I just kept pressing forward, I would reach my goals. In 1 year, 6 months after I started my business, I made over 6 figures in revenue and honey that did not come from only working smart.

My days consisted of waking up at 4am and going to bed at midnight. I planned my tasks around my children and my husband while also managing to engage with customers, fill orders, drop off orders, create, design, cut, print… YOU NAME IT! I was a one woman show and I was going to prove to myself that dreams only worked if I did. Here we are in 2019, and Goldmine & Coco has grown so much that I have an assistant and friends and family that have to come over and help me to deliver on my promise.

What other people consider accomplishments, I call hard work and faith in God. Faith without WORK is dead. Know that by not cutting corners and building from the ground up, God will bless your latter more than your beginning. Not only that but you will appreciate it more. I remember as a child, my grandmother saying how people didn’t appreciate things that they didn’t work for and I have never worked so hard for anything else in my life. I find value in my work that I couldn’t find anywhere else. Discipline is what I use to wake up and push myself out of bed even when I don’t feel like it. Determination and perseverance are the secret ingredients needed daily to crush my goals. Faith and dedication to my craft keeps me up at night racing with ideas. When you take the time to mix all of those ingredients together, you are bound to make something happen for yourself.

Gem, I want to encourage you today to never lose sight of your vision and stay focused on your goal. When writing down your business plan, factor in what you are willing to sacrifice to see your dream come into fruition. Last but certainly not least, plan to work harder and smarter than anyone else in your field. Put in the work and soon enough everything you desire will become reality. I’m living proof. That is my gem for today and until next time, Smooches 💎

💎 Before you go, be sure to leave me a comment and if you find this blog post really interesting; share it. 💎